Are We Making Decisions The Right Way

Often times we find our selves in situations where we are unable to decide on how to go about certain aspect of our life moving forward. I had a similar experience repeated where I saw my friend try and decide between taking a scholarship offer from a renowned fashion institute to attend a one-year training program , which meant compromising her current job, to not taking the opportunity altogether.

Growing up, we all are brought up by a society who believes that all has to fit together. Where education is a must, coming first in class is seen as an achievement and where there are certain standard procedures we have to follow. Sadly, most of us don’t actually understand how this has been built in to who we are, what we think and plan ahead. For those of us who are lucky enough to question everything in our life, we can realize, what I like to call, the “life template” built upon us and quickly move away from it.

There is this saying where the smart people learn for the daring ones to employ them.

Looking at the process my friend took to make her final decision, I have categorized the phases in to three:

Phase 1: Communication

In this phase, we try to really understand what others think about the opportunity at hand and how they think that would affect us. Though we have reached to this point following multiple efforts to get this chance, once we have it at our hand, we really want to understand the magnitude of its affect in our life and want to understand the basics from those who are close to us. For my friend this was when she started to ask about my opinion and which option I would choose if I were in her shoes. This is usually a sign that we are still deliberating on it and we want other people to give us enough justification on our plans.

Phase 2: Complete con-view

In this phase, we usually start to look at all the cons of going through that specific path. Our mind forgets the passions we have for the it and why we want to get that opportunity and instead focuses on all the things we will lose if we go for it. This is where the so called “life template” kicks us and shows us the exact path which is expected for us to take. As a bucket full of standard and right, the so called “life template” does not hold any space for curiosity, passion and risk taking. For my friend this was when panic kicked in as she saw that taking this training meant leaving work which in turn meant not being employed. The normal way of doing things was better than chasing that one opportunity she had always dreamed about.

Phase 3: Final decisions

Though we have understood other people’s perspective and weighed the options, at the end our decision is most likely to be different than what came to us the first time. Most of us might not be able to recognize it but the second an opportunity comes is when our mind decides what it really wants. I remember when my friend called me telling me she had gotten the opportunity, following a rigorous process, and her plan to take it. Sadly, this drive only lasted for a few minutes until all the what if’s came running down.

This is what makes those really successful people different than the rest of us mingling with the standards of the world i.e. instant decision making. Most successful people take the chance on the spot. This is because, at that time, our mind has not yet processed all the blocking points that can limit us from what we want. It hasn’t yet thought of our current situation, our background etc. It goes directly for what we want and where our passion or desire lies.

I have multiple times also experienced the sweating, exciting and daring feeling when I am about to do something. Often times those really goosebumps scary decisions are really worth it in the end and can push us further than what we could ever expect.

So maybe for some decision we make let’s drop the “life template” and just go for it instantly without any hesitations.

#decisionmaking #selfdevelopment